An early version of Michael Jackson’s unreleased demo titled “The Loser” leaked online today. And while fans are now able to hear it in its unfinished form, details about the work-in-progress track remain unknown. In this article, I will attempt to shed some light on its provenance.
According to those who worked on the track, “The Loser” – originally titled “I Am A Loser” – was first conceived by Michael Jackson and his longtime collaborative partner Brad Buxer in 2003.
At the time of its conception, Buxer was dealing with the pain of a recently failed relationship. Upset about the breakup and unable to sleep, Buxer – who was staying in an adjacent hotel room to Jackson at the time – began pacing around his room late at night, lamenting: “I’m a loser! I’m just a loser!”
Before long, Jackson, who could hear Buxer through the wall of their neighbouring rooms, knocked on his door and asked the musician if everything was okay.
“Oh, I’m a loser,” answered Buxer, before explaining the situation with his failed relationship.
In that moment, the concept for the song was born, with Jackson and Buxer co-writing and composing the track into the early hours of the morning.
“Brad was playing keys and Michael was doing a scratch vocal. It happened very fast,” recalls recording engineer Michael Prince – a longtime collaborative partner of Jackson and Buxer.
Prince, who began working on the track soon after the initial idea had been laid down, recalls that Jackson and Buxer would often work on ideas in hotel rooms. And when they did, they always had a portable makeshift studio with them – to capture their ideas.
“We had our typical recording setup,” explains Prince. “ProTools, keyboards, hard drives, headphones and a microphone – the whole thing. So it’s basically a mini recording studio.”
“Michael did multiple performances to get a good demo down,” adds Prince, explaining that Jackson continued working on the track beyond the initial recording sessions: “Michael likes to keep polishing things.”
The demo, which can be heard below, is built around a trademark Buxer drum loop, and is backed by soothing synths and an angelic harp.
![Michael Jackson - 06. I Am A Loser (Demo) [Audio HQ] HD](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mb06d4wdqvA/hqdefault.jpg)
In the lyrics, Jackson tells Buxer’s true story of a romance which is not reciprocated:
“I say hello, you say goodbye. I reach to you, you don’t even try. I am a loser. I am a loser.”
According to Prince, the version that is widely available online is not the most up-to-date version of the track:
“The version that leaked is pretty much the finished I Am The Loser demo – before it became I Was The Loser.”
Prince reveals that in 2008, while Jackson was preparing songs for a brand new studio album, the pop star pulled the track out of the vault.
At that time, Jackson was seeking creative input from legendary British songwriter Rod Temperton, with whom the pop star hadn’t worked in more than 20 years.
Temperton is best-known to Jackson fans for having written hits for the pop star’s 1979 album Off The Wall and 1982 album Thriller – including both title tracks, the #1 hit “Rock With You,” and several others.
Now, in 2008, Jackson was set to play a collection of songs for Temperton – to see if he had any suggestions on how to finish them.
“I Am A Loser” was one of those songs.
But before he met with Temperton, the pop star wanted to make one small change. Engineer Michael Prince, who helped Jackson prepare for the meeting with Temperton, recalls:
“He was happy with the original I Am A Loser demo. But before we played it for anybody else we had a long talk, and Michael said: ‘I don’t want be a loser. I don’t mind if I was the loser, but I don’t want to say I am a loser.’ So we changed that.”
“I was the loser” became the tracks’s new lyric.
Jackson recorded the vocal for the new lyric in a makeshift studio set up by Prince at the pop star’s Bel Air Hotel room in November of 2008. During that same period, Jackson also recorded new vocals for another track from the vault, called “Best of Joy”.
The pop star died six months later, on the 25th of June, 2009.
In the aftermath of Jackson’s death, a handwritten note detailing approximately 30 song titles was found in the pop star’s bedroom.
“And that, I think, was in his mind the list of his most important songs,” speculates Prince.
“The Loser”, as Jackson called it, was on the list. As was “Best of Joy”.
“Sometimes he writes new songs, and sometimes he wants to bring up something from the past that he knows is an unpolished gem,” explains Prince “That’s Michael’s way of doing things. He always revisited his favourite stuff. He’d say, ‘Why didn’t we put this on our last album? Let’s listen again. Can we make it any better?’ Sometimes it makes it on the album and sometimes it doesn’t.”
“The Loser” remains unreleased in an official capacity to this day.
Damien Shields is the author of the book Michael Jackson: Songs & Stories From The Vault examining the King of Pop’s creative process, and the producer of the podcast The Genesis of Thriller which takes you inside the recording studio as Jackson and his team create the biggest selling album in music history.
